5/14/1984 New Musical Express (4-27-84 Glasgow, Scotland Show Review)
Sluggish! The Cure Glasgow Apollo
Oh God we're going to see Robert Smith in a minute. He'll walk on that stage and pick up his
guitar and play it and sing songs and breathe the same air as us and we'll see him real
close up because we're only two back from the front row. And we'll be able to see
the lipstick on his face, and his hands on the guitar and everything. Oh Sandra the lights are
going down and he's walking on stage looking just like that.
Cure fans aren't stupid you know. They know enough not to throw cuddly toys and scream.
The Cure aren't stupid either. They know what they're doing. For instance, they know they are
intensely boring to watch (catatonic is the word that springs to mind) so they use film
projections to entertain the audience. Y'know ART. But they use really boring ones - geddit? Pretty
clever, in the end the entertainment comes from trying to work out which aspect is the most deadeningly
dull.
For instance. They write great pieces of whimsical pop/psychedelic fantasy like 'Lovecats'
or 'Caterpillar' and make tons of boodle in the singles chart, then write sombre pseudo-soul-searching
late night listening examinations of precise moments and put them out as an album. It sells
anyway.
Live they are reluctant to play the hit singles, although they do throw in 'A Forest' and
'Hanging Gardens' mid set, and do 'Caterpillar' as a look-how-good-we-are-to-you favour
encore. They opt instead to bore the knickers off their thoughsands of teenage torporette
fans with a maddeningly uninspired plod through the new album 'The Top'.
Another thing that irritates and puzzles me about Robert Smith in particular is the question of how
in hell's name he became an alternative teen sex idol when he looks like a cross between
Erazerhead and Baby Jane.
When you really get down to it the most irritating thing about The Cure is that they
know. They know they can afford to indluge themselves in nonsense like the apocalyptic
'Bananafishbones' and still send the fans home happy with deadpan renditions of '100 Years'
or 'Cold'. They've got a sense of humour but are so arrogant that the joke can only be on the
ticket buying public. They please themselves and take the money.
Cure concerts are boring. The fans are lemming-like enough to adore them. That's why Smith
and pals are laughing.
